I can’t tell if today was really good or really bad.

August 6, 2010

Maybe it was just bittersweet.

It started off with little to no sleep, followed by an orthodontist appointment, where my orthodontist told me that my bottom teeth are moving along really well and are straightening out nicely, already, after only a month. I got my bands replaced (pink and aqua, yes, very unique, I know) and a new wire on the bottom. After, I picked up my friend and we went down to our High School to see if we could get book vouchers so that we could get our textsbooks. We couldn’t, so we ended up not going to the college, and we went to this really awesome frozen yogurt place instead and loaded up on our daily recommended supply of chilly treats. It was so yummy, and it was really making up for not being able to get my stuff done, all until we went to go start my car and leave, and my car stalled out. So here I am, freaking out, because I’m not where I’m supposed to be in the first place, I’ve never been stuck in that situation before, and I have no  idea of what to do to. Thank Hashem though because this guy jump started my car (although, long story short, I don’t think I really needed it in the first place), and then my friend and I were off. Ice cream ended up getting all over the passenger seat and my friend as well, somewhere along the way (she’s got a really good streak for really bad luck), but we got home safely. My mom kind of freaked when I told her about it (except I said I was at the school instead of the frozen yogurt place) and was super mad at me for the rest of the afternoon. I had to help clean the entire house, then wash the car (not so much as a punishment as much as it just really needed to be washed) and prepared for the party tomorrow (or, rather, later this evening). Things turned around a little though when my mom sent me to a restaurant to pay for the bill of the food that we’ll be picking up tomorrow, and because we frequent there a lot, and are really good friends with the bartenders and manager and some of the wait staff, they gave me some free food and drink (I was super starved) and I sat around and talked for a while with them, mainly because I had nothing better to do with my night (I was supposed to be at a party) and partly because I didn’t want to do any more work around the house.

So all and all, my day was, well, I don’t really know. There were some really great parts and some really sucky one’s. I guess it was an off day, but not in a necessarily good or bad way.

I really want to be able to fall asleep right now, but I’m way to excited for the party (I am so lame) and to hang out with my boyfriend all day, etc. He’s helping me make a really big Happy Birthday banner for the party and we’re going to finger-paint it (I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for that. I haven’t finger-painted  since I was like, five.) I also am really excited to eat all of the yummy food. I love food, especially when it’s in abundance and all mine for the taking. And I love parties, especially the ones where there’s an abundance of food (really, how do I stay thin?).

You know what I’ve started to notice? When ever I seem to start losing track of my faith and of G-d, some weird things start to happen (such as my car stalling, etc.). Not necessarily dangerous or bad things, but just like, little reminders I guess. It’s kind of weird, but helpful in a steer-me-back-on-track type thing.

Also, I’ve been feeling kind of weird lately because I’m not used to this new girl I’ve become. I’m not used to being so dedicated to something, and I’m not used to having something I so firmly believe in that I’ll try my best to follow it. I’m not used to dressing or acting this way or doing the things I’m doing, and it’s all going toward something I really believe in with all of my heart: my religion; my faith. It’s so new to me, and it feels like I’m a different girl. I want to “lazy-out” on it and just do what seems simple and easy (such as not doing all of these prayers, reading the Torah, dressing or acting modestly, etc.) but I’m really sticking to it and it’s surprising me. Part of me is a little disgusted by it (the old me) but a bigger part of me is happy to be becoming the person I’ve always wanted to be-a better me.  It’s new and it’s weird, but I honestly think it’s for the better.

B’Ahavah (with love),

The Jewbie

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